Survivor TV: Social Experiments We Need

The disaster known as reality TV is on its last legs.  Even the CBS executives admit things are out of control. Survivor host, Jeff Probst:

announced the controversial competition on CBS’ “The Early Show,” saying the grouping is “a social experiment.” But criticism was swift, as anchor Harry Smith reacted with vitriol, calling the idea a “stunt to draw attention.”

This raises all sorts of opportunities for great reality based television:

• a new sitcom based in a diner, with a chatty waitress and a gruff owner, say something like, Hitler's Cross.
  
• a docudrama called  Friends.  High school buddies go out and lynch a black each week. Every lynch setting is changed as the boys are challenged to use a different post, tree or lamp post.
• Border Patrol.  The 1959 TV series is resurrected.  Each week a group of aliens, smugglers or political refugees tries to cross another international border. To win at least three of the team of ten must make it across alive.  Real bullets used. Pilot episode: Mexicans attempt to cross the Rio Grande west of El Paso.  Next week, Tibetan refugees try to make in through Nepal to India.
• for the younger set, Gastric Disorder.  Ten year old boys are challenged to ingest a variety of poisons and toxins including lye, rat bait, and DDT.  Contest rules require that they not receive medical attention for at least 15 minutes.
• Blow Up. Each week the show opens with shots of the Taliban destroying the Buddha statues in March, 2001.  Contestants will be given 18 tons of dynamite and will select a significant cultural or political icon.  Targets include the Taj Mahal, the White House, The Great Wall of China, and several native sanctuaries in South America.  In the semi-final competition teams will be allowed to select populated civilian targets.  The finals will be hosted by Vice President Dick Cheney and will offer contestants an opportunity to use low grade nuclear weapons.

A CBS spokesman said:

As part of the series evolution, the producers have regularly introduced new creative elements and casting structures that reflect some social issues in our culture. The ethnic format Mark Burnett and his team proposed and implemented for the beginning of this edition is an extension of that process...

...''It's very risky because you're bringing up a topic that is a hot button,'' Probst said...''For that, it's much safer to say, 'No, let's just stick with things the way they are. Let's don't be the network to rock the boat. Let's not ..something new.' But the biases from home can't affect you...