Turkeys, Cougars: Chicago Makes Badgers Look Like Mice

Having a fondness for cats, wild and not, I was deeply saddened to learn of the Chicago police shooting the cougar. As the Boston Herald reported, Cougar killed in Chicago may have journeyed from South Dakota,

Mayor Richard Daley supported the police use of lethal force in a news conference Tuesday morning.

"Now, I just want to tell you, if the cougar attacked a child, they’d sue the city because the police officer didn’t do their job," Daley said. "I didn’t see a neighbor run out and grab it and say, ‘Oh I love you’ and bring it in the house."

Phooey. Or as Daley's father might have said, "Balderdash."

But on the heels of the turkey attacks on Madison area postal workers it does not make us look good. Which led the Wisconsin State Journal's Doug Moe to enter the fray, Gloves come off in turkey fight in his own combat with Chicago Tribune columnist John Kass:

John Kass, a Chicago Tribune columnist of my acquaintance, has written a column questioning the courage of Madison postal workers.

On Wednesday, Kass mocked the mail carriers who have been attacked by wild turkeys while trying to deliver mail on Madison's West Side...

Kass responded Wisconsin comes up short in cougar-sexy turkey bout

What's tougher? A slinky cougar in Chicago? Or a gang of sexually addicted gobblers desirous of the bare, hairy legs of Madison mail carriers? Must I even answer that question?
...So I have no sympathy for such beasts. Meanwhile, the Madison turkeys have committed acts so heinous that their behavior has wreaked havoc with the mail and caused widespread turkey-sexual panic among shorts-wearing Wisconsin men.

Wisconsin, you don't need some confused turkey lovers. You need a few Chicago cops.

Doug Moe has made an honorable and noble attempt to defend our honor. But face it, Kass and the Chicagoans have us. It is a losing battle.

None of this would have happened if someone had simply blown away the turkeys.

Comments

[Steve Vokers]

I thought Wild Turkey was something you drank???

[Dan Sebald]

Does this hurt the prospects of the turkey for national bird, Paul?

Here's also something from Doug Moe's Apr 15 article:

"A new study by Bizjournals, the online media division of American City Business Journals, ranking the brainpower level of the nation's 100 largest metropolitan areas, listed Madison first"

Madison needs to use its smarts to solve this. Maybe hire a consultant to teach mail carriers turkey calls. Or how about carrying a little speaker that puts out a shrieking hawk sound to scare them off? Brains over brawn!

[Marius]

I believe the cougar was a New Trier graduate looking for its class reunion.
There seems to be some evidence that this hapless creature was originally misdirected to Milton, Wisconsin where it found only wild turkeys.

[Michael J. Cheaney]

Pauls Article said:

"Wisconsin, you don't need some confused turkey lovers. You need a few Chicago cops."

I agree. Maybe while their here, they can give the Madison cops a pointer or two about solving Homicides?